Stop Treating Interviews Like Dating Apps You’re not here to be liked—you’re here to make the right call.
Most interviews today are a joke. They’ve become performative, soft, and more about likability than truth. We’ve turned hiring into dating—gauging chemistry, checking for “vibes,” and avoiding discomfort at all costs. But this culture of polished politeness is costing organizations time, money, and credibility.
Let’s be clear: you’re not hiring a mascot. You’re hiring someone to deliver under pressure, navigate complexity, and get real work done. Yet most interviews never simulate that reality. Instead, they feel like a first date. Questions are predictable. Answers are rehearsed. Everyone is trying to be liked. And that’s a problem.
In the real world, vendors go silent, clients push back, and team members quit. Products fail. Leaders are challenged. The workplace is not a frictionless environment—and it never will be. So why would we create interviews that avoid tension when the job demands the ability to operate in it?
That’s why I don’t use gimmicky tests or whiteboard puzzles. I use pressure. I intentionally make interviews a little uncomfortable—not to be cruel, but to create a real-time window into how someone responds when things don’t go to script.
I call out behavior in real time. If someone seems nervous, I say so: “You seem nervous—what’s going on?” If they’re sweating or showing visible signs of stress: “You’re feeling the pressure right now, aren’t you?” If a question rattles them: “That seemed to make you uncomfortable—why?”
These aren’t tricks. They’re tests of honesty and composure. Some candidates deflect. Some freeze. But the best ones? They lean in. They clarify. They adjust. They show you how they think and who they are when it’s no longer a performance. That’s what I want to see.
Because here’s the reality: most candidates are over-trained to win the interview, not earn the job. They’ve studied behavioral interview guides. They’ve rehearsed clean narratives. They’ve prepped responses to make themselves sound like low-risk, high-likability hires. But that’s not who you get on Day 30 when the pressure is real.
In my interviews, I don’t want the representative. I want the operator. The one who can stay grounded when I push back. The one who doesn’t need a perfect prompt to give an honest answer. The one who understands that feedback is a gift, not a threat.
Now, I hear the concerns all the time: “What about Glassdoor reviews?” “Won’t this hurt our employer brand?” “Isn’t this too aggressive?”
Here’s my response: if one honest, truth-seeking interview can damage your company’s reputation, then your culture wasn’t built on real trust—it was built on image. Great candidates aren’t turned off by rigor. They’re insulted by fluff. They want to know they’re joining a team that takes performance and alignment seriously. They want to earn it.
Interviews shouldn’t be about chemistry. They should be about character. Not about comfort, but clarity. You’re not looking for someone who fits in—you’re looking for someone who stands up when it counts.
So stop trying to “click” with every candidate. Start creating interviews that reveal the truth. Because if you’re not willing to create a little discomfort in the process, don’t expect to hire people who can thrive in the discomfort of the job.
Ask the hard questions. Call out what you observe. Challenge the resume. Then sit back and see who steps up.
Because the right hire isn’t the one who charms you—it’s the one who shows up strong when it counts.
-Tony
Have you ever leaned into adversity during interviews—or are you still afraid of a bad Glassdoor review? Let’s talk.
